The Micallef Pogram – Season 3 Episodes

Episode 1
Aired: 19 February 2001

“I Completely Forgot My Line”
Shaun milks a cow, then drinks the milk from a glass
Monologue: An introduction to the third series
Julie Anthony sings Computer Games (a series opening ceremony designed by Ric Burch)
Learner driver
Olga Zorov: Telekinesis ability
Wood Chopping record attempt
Interview: Pauline Cockburn
I Freaking Dare You: Nazi war criminal/kayak from a building
Richard Morecroft presents the headlines
Game Show segment: Showcase
Celebrity Pet: Warwick Fairfax’s zebra
Myron: Myron and the giant peach
Causality waiting room
Fantasy Traffic Island
Wet clown
“I Don’t Normally Do This…”
Job Interview with lizard to fill silence
Interview: Celia Thrip
Flute McGillicutty and his balancing foxes
Unsolved Mysteries: Marie Celeste
Emergency mouse
Ned Kelly’s helmet dilemma
A quick look at the all ordinaries
Stephen Hawking performs

Episode 2
Aired: 26 February 2001
Guests: Tim Freedman

Reg Lindsay’s Country Homestead
Shaun drinks an antacid
Monologue: Difficult to be topical
Someone who never dates
Hard rubbish day
“Weary” Dunlop: Transsexual (replaced by Urailda Foundation in original airing – due to controversy)
Lou Gehrig’s Disease (Room of Shame)
Mobile Phone
7.30 Report Theme
Interview: Tim Freedman
Celebrity Pet: Tania Zaetta’s Iguana
WW2 Announcement
Funeral Industry protest
Whip Cracking record attempt
Television and computer morphing
Yacht Race rescue
Health Benefits office (Room of Shame)
Ben/Bob song
“Do you go into the city?”
Vomit Cleaner
Thanks to special guest Eddie McGuire
Closing Monologue: If You Live in Adelaide …

Episode 3
Aired: 5 March 2001
Special Guest: Sigrid Thornton

It’s a Bird!
Shaun arrives on a ghost train; drinks from a high heel shoe
Monologue: Bad variety show acts
“I said you’d be playing center.”
Dentist – Dave O’Neil anesthetic
Norman Bates and his mother
Moira MacLean
Interview: Personal Opinion Columnist
Make A Dream Come True
Myron: Cinderella
French Ambassador
Personal phone call
Roger Woodward “plays” Jessica’s Theme
Fat-O-Gram (Room of Shame)
Game Show segment: Higher or Lower
Dale Meegan reporting
ANZAC sculpture
Alien masseur
Permission to be Frank
Revolution piano roll performed by Sigrid Thornton
Internet Forum complaint

Episode 4
Aired: 12 March 2001
Guest Appearances: John Clarke, The Killjoys

Digging a grave
Shaun drinks from a bottle of scotch
“We’re 29 minutes under”
Show is being performed under government supervision
Cleaner running gag
Coin operated ride
Bad Crime program
Interview: Bad Crime’s creator
Celebrity Pet: Michael Kroger’s catfish
Court TV
Bin Hire
Pub Violinist (Room of Shame)
Game Show segment: Gift Shop/Amway
Amish Road Rage
Conference Room cleaning
High “diving” act
Four year old flu sufferer
Interview: John Clarke
Plane Crash
Cleaning at a sermon

Episode 5
Aired: 19 March 2001
Guest Appearances: Slava Grigoryan, Richard Morecroft

Wrong Umbrella
Shaun drink’s mother’s milk
A taste of what is to come tonight
Encyclopedia plea
Audience participation
Champagne makers
Slava Grigoryan “performs” Bach’s prelude
Interview: Lazlo Kelos
A tribute to Elvis
False Start 200m
Laughing Firemen
Micallef poses nude
Celebrity Impressionist
Myron: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
Vintage Car
Game Show segment: Loser contestant
Surgeon erection
Bogan family limousine ride
ABC News interruption
Interview: Newly Married 85 Year Olds
Posing for painting
Closing Monologue: 107 Year Old; Phenomenon
Window Washer
Speaking to someone about the issues raised tonight

Episode 6
Aired: 26 March 2001
Guest Appearances: Andrew Denton, Trevor Marmalade

Rubbish seats
Shaun drinks werewolf potion
Becky Riordan from the cafeteria
Rock climbing rescue erection
“Vanish Tyrannies” (Van Gogh) documentary
Interview: Creator of “Vanish Tyrannies”
Heaven’s Filling Up
Finger stuck in the plughole
Gargling in Victoria
“Can I Buy You a Drink?”
Dugongs or Mermaids
Daily Planner
Game Show segment: Sound-proof booth
Anti-Graffiti Vandals
Wine Tasting
Interview: Andrew Denton
Lawyer’s Office/Naval Optometrist
Shop Window Mannequin
Abraham Lincoln
Closing: Head lice at local Police Station; reasons to hate the Arts Minister
Dr Caligari, Magician
Wayne in Shaun’s Dressing Room

Episode 7
Aired: 2 April 2001
Guest Appearances: Dave Gray, Jane Cunningham, Tony Martin, Rachel Maza, Nicholas Bell

Speech from Patton revisited
Shaun wipes his face on the shroud of Turin
Opening Monologue: Kathy Lette
Gilford Four
Quakers Documentary
Paul sings “I’ve Got The Music In Me”
Interview: Duty Solicitor
Tony Bennett
Myron: Semtex
Quiz Show segment: Blankety Blanks
Plaque unveiling
Interview: Indigenous Writer
Celebrity Pet: Jackie Love’s E-Coli
Honeymooner’s Toilet
Unbelievable Dinner stories
Political Comedian Brian Telford
Injured Family
Vaughn Ashton performs “I Go To Rio”

Episode 8
Aired: 9 April 2001
Guest Appearance: Nicholas Bell

Parrot Sketch
Shaun drinks a sports drink
Topical Monologue: Easter long weekend
Liberal Election documentary
Melissa O’Brien filling in for Viperhead
Interview: Young Lovers
Celebrity Pet: Gareth Evans’ Mouse
Four Corners expose
Medals ceremony erection
Council Worker – Lion
Interview: Husband of Plane Crash Victim
Game Show segment: Guess The Punchline / Body
Billy Anachronism
Celebrity Pet: Bill O’Chee’s Dugong
Micallef Pogram Goof Tape
“I Was Miles Away”
Myron: Citizen Kane
Goodbye from Micallef
Doctor’s Surgery

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