Recap: Mad As Hell, June 15th 2012

A look at Mr D’Arcy’s pride, in the face of prejudice. We’ll examine Tony Abbott’s metaphors, quite literally. The Economy or The Environment – which one’s more stuffed? And Racism In Sport – is it an issue for Black Caviar?

Shaun refused to go on unless he was paid $5000, but was happy to accept Cabcharges. Lucky, because tonight one of the stories was about police holding a man over a fire. This week, the show proclaimed to be “riding the 24-hour news cycle drug-free.”

When the audience wouldn’t hold their applause, Shaun fired a gun into the air. He did apologise for the over-the-top reaction. He was quite angry because how he felt about something and what he thought about it were different, and that made him furious. It was the story of Nick D’Arcy and Kenrick Monk being punished by the AOC for being photographed wielding guns in California. If they can’t use social media, how can they expected to tweet their emoticons?

Maggie Bathysphere (Emily) from ABC Sport felt it had been blown out of proportion, just because one had once lied to police and the other once punched someone in the face – who hasn’t?

Black Caviar, in comparison, is very well behaved. Punky Voltaren (Tosh) reported on her prospects racing at Royal Ascot, and assured Shaun that while she had a lot riding on her, it would only be the jockey during the race.

Shaun is concerned about sport on an international level, which does often raise national pride to the level of nationalism, which if taken too seriously is taken to the level of national socialism – then it’s no longer about including multiple countries from a race, but about excluding various races from a country.

Maggie agrees that racism has no place in sport, and the recent racism at Euro 2012 makes her glad we’re not part of Europe – it’s a stupid continent. But is our national pride any different to those Ukrainian supporters?!

Denzella Kabuki (Veronica) went to Tasmania to look at the use of cricket power as an alternative fuel source. Invented by Prof. Jasper Pong (Francis), he came on the idea of using the limbering up employed by cricketers to generate energy. One cricketer is working the n. They have generated enough power to run the Tamar Valley Power Station toilet hand dryer for a full minute.

Carbon Tax celebrations are about 3 weeks away, and Tony Abbott has been using tortured metaphors such as it being “a python squeeze instead of a cobra strike” but Damien Scranton (Francis) doesn’t think this is zoologically accurate. But he thinks Tony is right on one count (or is that a right …?) – being suffocated by a python would hurt from day one.

During the break was an ad from the Australian Defence Force – “defending our shores via Afghanistan.”

Shaun disagrees with censorship – people shouldn’t even be able to say the word. But the reprint of Mein Kampf has been changed to note Hitler’s errors and point out places where he recycled his ideas – often noted as one of Hitler’s greatest crimes. Shaun thinks that if they want to censor the book to help warn people off becoming National Socialists, then re-releasing the audio book, read by Mel Gibson, might help.

It was time for Top of the Vox Pops – “Should Freedom of Speed extend to other noises?” and opinions varied.

In finance news today, the markets closed down today. Even after all that bailing out.

The economy isn’t riding on the sheep’s back, it’s been driven in a truck owned by Gina Rinehart as Mrs Conroy (Roz) reports from the Mad as Helicopter. We dig up what we “made” earlier, but a slow down in the Chinese economy means we might not be able to sell as much coal, iron and uranium. If the resources boom goes bust, we won’t be able to prop up our manufacturing, which means we’ll rely on China for cheaper goods, boosting our economy again and making it impossible to criticise them for supporting the Assad regime.

Julia Gillard has been explaining her policies to children again, prosumably so they can explain it to their parents. Shaun thinks it is good to talk to children – they are the future – and there’s no point talking to old people.

You certainly can’t argue with the growth figures for last quarter, and Tureen Chip, Senior Economic Forecaster, didn’t see it coming. Was it incompetence? Even Joe Hockey knows that “the numbers are the numbers”.

Nice-One Johnson (Emily) spoke to Organza Quiz (Roz), a spokeperson for Joe Hockey, who finally caved that Hockey was ticked off that even though they are incompetent, the government still manages to pull of numbers like this.

Shaun hates negativity, so decides to be positive. So to talk about the fabulous economic growth figure, he spoke to a member of the inexpert anti-opposition Pinor Rouge, who instead began talking of the garden and “how growth has its season.” He also had a message for Rafael.

In Wisdom of the Elders, Francis spoke to Bill again about the 89th anniversary of Vegimite. It certainly didn’t exist before it was invented, and while Bill worked at the factory at the time, it he was sick the day it was invented. He never liked the “happy little Vegimites song” because of the line “rose in every cheek”  – not sure about  “a sandwich spread that promotes the fact that it will make your bottom flush”. Bill had his own version of the theme song, and played it for Francis.

Before handing off to the talk back, Shaun thinks we should get Rolf Harris, a recent OA recipient, returned to Australia – maybe in exchange for sending back Leo Sayer.

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